Super Confession Bros
Alright, it's time to fess up:
I lie about having seen movies.
I'm only a little ashamed of it, but I don't think that even my dearest friends know how widespread this tendency for deception is. I lie about having seen classic movies all the time.
There is an enormous chance that, even if you are one of my closest compatriots, I have lied to you about seeing a movie. Probably several movies.
I am sure that a lot of people do this in order to avoid the usual surprised and indignant reactions common when you announce that you haven't seen something that everyone in the public is expected to be aware of. And I am able to lie because my cultural knowledge is not really insufficient: I know what most of these movies are about, and I know why they are important. I know what their position is in the history of cinema, and I know what important elements they have added to the public consciousness.
I know that if someone says "I'm getting too old for this shit," they are channeling Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon.
I know that if it has to do with a Martian woman with three breasts it's Total Recall.
I know that making someone an offer they can't refuse is Marlon Brando's thing in The Godfather.
I know that something bursting from someone's chest is paying homage to Alien.
That doesn't change the fact that I haven't seen any of these movies.
I am constantly telling myself that I need to remedy the fact that I am so horribly under-watched. I think maybe that with the help of Netflix, I could probably overcome this atrocious deficit. Maybe I should dedicate the summer to this.
But I would like to stop lying to my friends. So, if you ask me if I've seen something, and I give you an answer, you can feel free to ask me "have you really?" And this time I promise to tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Seriously, I have a problem.
I lie about having seen movies.
I'm only a little ashamed of it, but I don't think that even my dearest friends know how widespread this tendency for deception is. I lie about having seen classic movies all the time.
There is an enormous chance that, even if you are one of my closest compatriots, I have lied to you about seeing a movie. Probably several movies.
I am sure that a lot of people do this in order to avoid the usual surprised and indignant reactions common when you announce that you haven't seen something that everyone in the public is expected to be aware of. And I am able to lie because my cultural knowledge is not really insufficient: I know what most of these movies are about, and I know why they are important. I know what their position is in the history of cinema, and I know what important elements they have added to the public consciousness.
I know that if someone says "I'm getting too old for this shit," they are channeling Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon.
I know that if it has to do with a Martian woman with three breasts it's Total Recall.
I know that making someone an offer they can't refuse is Marlon Brando's thing in The Godfather.
I know that something bursting from someone's chest is paying homage to Alien.
That doesn't change the fact that I haven't seen any of these movies.
I am constantly telling myself that I need to remedy the fact that I am so horribly under-watched. I think maybe that with the help of Netflix, I could probably overcome this atrocious deficit. Maybe I should dedicate the summer to this.
But I would like to stop lying to my friends. So, if you ask me if I've seen something, and I give you an answer, you can feel free to ask me "have you really?" And this time I promise to tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Seriously, I have a problem.
posted by Nate at 6:09 PM
6 Comments:
Dude. I totally do the same thing.
Whew! Feels good to get that off my chest. My bra fits properly now! ;o)
Yeah. I went there. Deal with it!
How will you reconcile this with the difficulty you always have in actually sitting down to watch a film?
There's a dude with horns. I'm his advocate.
I thought it only fair to ask.
As is often my style, I tend to ride the white lie train on this one. For people as steeped in culture as we children of Kenyon are, it's hard to imagine many big important movies about which we know absolutely NOTHING - if by virtue of references in other media (if nothing else). I know I also am attuned to movie buzz, even of those I haven't yet seen or those I don't intend to see, so I can speak intelligently about new releases and make value judgments. So, if someone thinks I've seen a movie because I babble extensively about it, that's their own issue! But ask me point blank, I probably won't lie.
Incidentally, thanks for the nice comment. Here is your reward:
http://www.paleofuture.com/
everybody does it, even me, hyperbole man. But my problems are another story.
incidentally, not to go against the spirit of the thing but...
please watch Alien. The others can wait, perhaps forever, but not Alien.
WTF is wrong with you people?
Have I been surrounded by liars all my life?
......I never learned to read.
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